Define compassion; it’s the feeling that arises when we are confronted with another who is suffering. Empathy can lead to altruism, which is the desire to help others without any thought of reward or personal benefit. Instead, we feel the pain and sorrow of whatever they may be experiencing. It is a form of empathy that involves understanding and sharing in someone’s distress.
Compassion Meaning
As an example to define compassion, I have recently encountered an experience. This experience made me aware of my lack of compassion in this situation. In my apartment building, the heat and hot water had gone out at the same time for four days in February and six days in March, and upstate NY, it is cold! The first time it went out, it took the landlord days to fix it. Therefore, we were relieved when the heat and hot water were finally fixed, or so we thought.
Then It Went Out Again!-defining compassion.
The heating and hot water went out again a few weeks later. I didn’t bother to text or call the landlord, for I knew one or more of my neighbors would let him know. After four days, it was still out, with no word of the situation. I went ahead and texted him. I asked him what the status was on the heat and hot water. How much longer would it be before we could expect it to be restored? At that moment, he lashed out at me.
My landlord’s response to me was, your rent is month-to-month basis, and you can move anytime! In a state of shock, I could say, for some reason, his words hit me emotionally! My response was, WOW, I bet you wouldn’t let your family go without heat and hot water for days, especially in the middle of winter. But, of course, I had to add; you never had to chase us down for our rent! That was the end of that conversation. As a result, I even considered moving at that moment as my emotions were running high. My emotional reaction was as quick and responsive as his.
The Ah-Ha Moment-define compassion
Two more days passed, and as I drove home, there was a heating work truck at one of our building entrances. Of course, I was thrilled to see it!
As I passed by one of my neighbors in the hallway, he was losing his mind over our lack of heat and hot water. He came shouting out of one of the hallway doors. Stating “he doesn’t care,” “he is not going to fix anything,” and “I called him a100 times, and he told me,” “your rent is month-to-month, and you can move anytime” his face was red! Finally, I told him the heating guys were here. It seemed to soothe him, and he went on his way.
As a result, the most critical aspect of my encounter with my neighbor was my realization of “WHY” my landlord had such a negative response to my questioning in communication with him.
Putting Myself In The Landlord’s Shoes!-define compassion.
Here is a moment my awareness kicked in! My understanding of my landlords, neighbors, and, most of all, my thoughts, emotions, and actions were out of line! Way too hot and emotional without clear, calm communication that would have soothed us all.
With my neighbor losing his mind toward me and the landlord being nasty, it all became clear in a couple of seconds of awareness. I realized I was more irritated and on emotional overload with the whole situation than I thought.
Awareness Is a Beautiful Thing!-define compassion.
Here is my experience at that moment with EXTREME COMPASSION as I realized that my landlord’s phone was blowing up all week with angry tenants! My text to him he received four days into this situation. So I received his STRESSED OUT emotional reaction, even though I asked when I could expect the heat and hot water to return.
He had to be overwhelmed by calls from angry tenants. Everyone, locked down with the Covid situation didn’t help the situation. Stress and anxiety are shared collectively. Tenants are upset about the cold and the lack of shower access in our homes. It’s not like we all can go to a friend’s home to take a shower or show up at our elderly parent’s home.
Compassion and Empathy
It was easier to show compassion and empathy for my fellow neighbors than to display it for the landlord. I understand my fellow tenant’s unpleasantness, for I was experiencing the same. Therefore, the landlord was stressed out as he dealt with angry tenants, the heating system service guys, and the cost of everything. UGH!
My point in sharing this story is to express how our thoughts and emotions sometimes get the best of us. When we have no control over situations that put us in adverse situations, we indeed do not have the compassion for each other as we should. We are so spoiled! We get all heated up when the power goes out for two hours. Our electronics go off. I know there is a time when we can hit the enough is enough, and our compassion gets thrown out with the baby water. Sometimes when overwhelmed and emotionally charged, we need to take a step back and consider the whole situation for all involved before reacting. Communicating in a rational manner could have saved a whole lot of stress and anxiety for all.
Feeling Grateful
But Dam, after the encounter with my awakened awareness of all the negative vibes beaming and speaking out of everyone, including myself. I felt like all of the chaos going on was not suitable for anyone of us. My perception changed, and I started feeling grateful my apartment had water, period. Water I could heat up for whatever I needed for a few days. I was thankful I had electricity running the space heater. I had a home with my things, bed, and so forth. When we feel compassion, our perception switches to our heart space instead of in our head, ego mind.
In other words, I was experiencing all our stress and negative emotions simultaneously. It was not a good feeling, and my landlord was not present. However, my compassion and empathy for him came quickly. As I set aside my inconvenience and emotions, I better understood where my landlord was coming from on an emotional level. Therefore, as well as for my neighbors and feelings of gratitude all at once.
It has not been easy for any of us over the past year. We must remember that others are feeling the stress and uncertainty of the 2020 lockdown. Concerns of everyday life in general, as we are ourselves.
Take a deep breath in and listen without casting judgment. Instead, we must ask ourselves, “Is this person’s actions or reactions have anything to do with me?”
Usually, when actions are triggered by a negative situation and one’s lack of ability to control their emotions, it has nothing to do with us.
Take a Moment
Take a minute; just put yourself in another’s shoes when you know someone is struggling. When we leave our needs aside for a moment, we get a new perspective on the situation. Give space to yourself and others. We look at the situation differently and have compassion and empathy for all involved. We all can use a little compassion ourselves from time to time.
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